‘Tis the season to be jolly
‘Tis the season to be jolly, to deck the halls and to kiss people under the mistletoe but when it feels this good, why do we restrict the merriment and happiness to only 12 days of the 365 available?
When greeting people during the festive period our desire for them to have a ‘Happy Christmas’ is real and genuine and the response it elicits is wonderfully infectious. They say a yawn spreads like wildfire but just try smiling and wishing people the blessings of the season and watch as the mood takes hold.
People work hard at being happy at Christmas there is a desperate scramble in the run up to the holidays to have everything ready; presents bought, wrapped, food prepared, houses cleaned and decorated all in a bid to ensure that we can enjoy and give thanks for the season.
During advent, and in the throes of all this preparation, indeed even in the middle of a wet March weekend, maybe we should just stop and try to take stock. Perhaps we should be enjoying the journey instead of holding our happiness in abeyance, waiting for the big day to arrive and expecting the full weight of happiness to descend.
There are so many cheesy, inspirational quotes doing the rounds that focus on efforts to get people to stop looking for happiness on the horizon: ‘It’s not about waiting for the clouds to clear but about learning to dance in the rain’, and so on. The idea is that the power is in our hands to enjoy the happiness in the run up, the preparation and in the here and now, even on days that don’t have a name.
There may be something in Noddy Holder and Slade’s wish that it could be Christmas every day because if their dreams came true perhaps we’d all work harder at being happy and sharing Christmas joy all year round.
At a recent Conference of Heads of the Girls’ School Association one of the speakers, Andy Cope, dubbed the “Happiness Tsar” gave a convincing argument for not waiting around for happiness but for celebrating every day as if it was Christmas. He called on us all to work harder at being happy and sharing joy all year round.
He used some very poignant slides that resonated with many of the delegates. He urged everyone to stop waiting around to be happy; when I get my GCSEs, when I get a job, have children, get a house, decorate, extend or move to a bigger property, the list of reasons for ‘happy procrastinating’ sounded awfully familiar and is, of course, endless. In all, the outcome is the same with an eye on future happiness current joys are missed.
He urged people to be happy and not to hanker after something you haven’t got, believing that when you do it will be the panacea for all ills, or problems. Instead channel your efforts into being among the 2% of the population who are really happy. It is these people who will live longer and will no doubt get to see all the things you are waiting for before you can be happy!
To be truly happy, the Happiness Guru advised us all to be aware of the four horsemen of the negativity apocalypse.
Tiredness
Complexity
The News
Drizzle.
His message and one that I hold dear, is that you can choose to be happy and positive, life is a very special occasion even on days that are not designated ‘happy’ days, like birthdays, anniversaries or Christmas. You don’t need Hallmark to have made a card to have a happy day.
Instead make it your mantra to change your negative thoughts into positive ones – not so much about considering whether it’s cup half full but about delighting in having the cup in the first place!
Rewiring your brain is the key, making a conscious effort not to allow yourself to slip into negative thought patterns. Playing Pollyanna’s ‘Glad Game’ can be slightly nauseating if like the novel’s fictional character you make it your life’s mission to convert everyone around you, but playing it yourself can be wonderfully transformational.
Psychologists agree that the best way to start to change your mood is to pretend to feel more positive than you actually are and it soon becomes the reality.
Another great way to breed happiness is to stop focusing on what makes you happy and consider other people. One of the best ways to spread happiness is by being kind. Not just to yourself but to others. One random act of kindness can make you feel so much happier than splashing out on a personal treat. This time of year is ideal to turn the spotlight onto others and consider spreading the Christmas cheer.
Instead of wrecking our brains for what to add to our Christmas list, another material item that won’t make us happy, consider instead what we can do for someone else, the happiness and fulfilment this will deliver will be immeasurable. When we turn our attention outwards to other people and connect with the wider world, it elevates us, gives our days meaning and purpose and that’s what life is all about.
Andy Cope, the Happiness Guru advised that in schools, happiness starts with the Head – so if and when you next see me and I’m grinning like a Cheshire Cat I’m being positive and upbeat to start the ripple effect that will create a positive, happy community. I will be applying the 10/5 rule that is to smile at anyone who comes within 10 feet of me, and to say ‘hello’ to anyone who comes within five. Knowing that happiness is bigger than any one individual, means that if you are happy and positive then everyone you meet in the day will be happier for having met you.
Note to self – Smile!
Hilary French – Headmistress, Newcastle High School for Girls